. . . but I have been having fun with my page banner - lots of good pics to choose from!

Also, tonight I heard this song when driving Beth home from Beach in the Box, and a wave of nostalgia washed over me. This song expresses, better than I was ever able to do, the desires of my heart back when I used to be involved in the worship bands.

Even without music, may I be able to bring him something of worth, every day . . .

When the music fades and all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
All about You, Jesus

King of endless worth, no one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor, all I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
All about You, Jesus

I'll bring you more than a song . . .

- Heart of Worship, by Matt Redman

As some of you know, one of the most rewarding and impacting (on me) ministries I've ever been involved in was working with seven year's worth of student worship bands at our church.

A characteristic of the last band I was involved with (in 2004-2005) was their unity and love for each other. They were all very different, but they developed a sweet friendship and love for each other during the year that was . . . well, it was amazing, and awesome, and wonderful. One thing we did quite a few times during that year was get together for game nights, and Balderdash was usually the game of choice. It's pretty much the funnest board game ever invented.

The band members are scattered now, working, at college, in Seattle, etc., but now and then we have a chance to get together. Brad was down from Seattle so we organized another Balderdashy band party. It was a blast! And it included a lot of other friends too; about 20 people took part in the festivities throughout the night. We started a bit late (around 10:00pm) and it went until 4:30am. I went to bed very tired, but with a smile on my face.

I went to bed thankful for friends, and for a chance to watch young people who mean so much to me grow up. I'm overwhelmed at God's grace and so thankful to him! Why do I get to experience such great things?

Sometimes I really miss the days we all had together. It hurts to miss people. But it's a good hurt.

Some pictures for ya:
Read the rest of this entry . . .

My Bro Kevo came through with this new MySpace.

It contains a few songs that the band I'm always reminiscing about recorded once.

The "One Jump" track never ceases to crack me up, and it perfectly captures the quirky character, fellowship, and deep friendship enjoyed by these students.

Today I realized that it has been one year exactly since an important chapter in my life closed. One year ago today I said goodbye to a worship band that I had been working with all year, the last of seven year's worth. It was a great year. Really, every year was, and each had its own set of joys, challenges, struggles and victories.

I can't really put into words what shepherding the worship bands meant to me. It was wonderful. I don't regret leaving that ministry, though. When I left, I replaced myself as I always knew I must, and my replacement is doing a great job. Over the years I replaced myself several times (for instance, more than one of the pics below is of a band that was not really led by me, but by former band students who became leaders). Replacing yourself is a good thing to learn how to do, and one of the unexpected joys of doing this thing.

A year and a December ago God let me know that it was time. I finished out the year - and a fabulous blessing of a year it was! - and Jill and I have moved on to another ministry in our church, this one with young singles. Different, but wonderful too. And now our two oldest children are in high school and both of them have become members of the student worship bands. So I'm experiencing this all over again, from a different angle. Wow!

Below are just a few of the hundreds of pictures I have of that seven year period stretching from 1998 to 2005, in rough chronological order. I wish I had pictures available online of every student who ever took part! Some I only have in prints and didn't have time or the heart to scan them. But all of these, pictured or not, were a blessing to me. You can't tell from the pictures how hard they worked, how committed they were, how passionately they worshipped, and how musically excellent they became.

I'll never forget them.

Lord, with a passion
born of your Spirit
We burned.

And with a bond
Of unity and beautiful friendship
We became brothers and sisters
And sons and daughters

Tears we shed
Of laughter sweet
And pain, and prayer
Watering the altar

And in the best of times
Our hearts aligned with Yours
And the worship was an offering
And You were lifted high

And I am filled with wonder and praise
For the enduring blessing
Of Your grace and those days.

Tyson, a former member (1998-2000) of the student worship band I used to lead, is getting married tomorrow to Erin.

I love these band weddings! This will be the 7th former band member to get married this year in six weddings; one of the weddings was for a couple (Matt and Stephanie) who were both in the worship band.

Tyson and Erin will be moving to Seattle (where Tyson lives now). Tyson currently is on the ministry team of this church plant.

It's so neat to see these kiddos grow up!

Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.�? And he was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.�?

So early in the morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it.

- Genesis 28:16-18 (ESV)

The stone that Jacob used for a pillow the night before had become holy, and he set it up as a pillar of remembrance. The night before it was just a rock, like all the others. Now it was a holy, annointed, stone of remembrance.

Remembering what God has done is something we are commanded to do over and over in Scripture. The reason should be plain, if you've lived long enough to realize how forgetful we humans are of the blessings we've been given. That's why it's often helpful to keep and hold objects of remembrance, to remind us.

For months I've carried a piece of paper, shown below, that has the setlist for one of the last worship services the student worship band I used to work with ever did. This was a holy night - it was our last night at our Junior High camp and on this night the band led a private worship service for the Victory Camp staff.


It was beautiful, and I'll never forget it. God moved that night, and the worship was pure and good. I'm helped in that remembrance by this little piece of paper. Of the thousands of pieces of paper that pass through my hands each year only a few become special, set apart, made holy by the memories of God's work that they carry with them. This is one of them. Tonight I was thinking of the past, and of memories of past moves of God, as I pondered the fact that now that Jill and I are poised to move into a new ministry, we really are done working with students. It's final. That is a bittersweet feeling. But it's good to be where we believe God wants us to be.

Do you carry little "stones" of remembrance with you? Do you hold on to items that remind you of what God has done? If you do, I'd love to hear about it in the comments.


They blessed me. Here they are singing Rain Down that night

Tonight the band I worked with last year had a final reunion party. I say "final" because I have a feeling we will never all be together again, at least not for a long while. That makes me sad, because we went through so much together last year and became a true family and it's hard to see that end. But such is the way of life on this earth. These times are a preview of the days when my own kids will grow up and go away. That's not something I'm ready for!

The party was fun. We played our traditional Taboo and Balderdash, drank IBC rootbeer, and talked and laughed and just enjoyed being with each other. Our student ministers Randy and Jeremy joined us to make the party that much better.

On nights like tonight I am painfully reminded that it is hard to be away from people who mean a lot to you. In our lives we move to new places, scatter over the face of the earth, leave the familiar and drive to the unknown. We fall out of touch. In addition, as the oldest person (by far) in this group I always feel just slightly behind. The cultural references pass me by. Tonight I learned what a "facebook" is, for instance. :-) Fascinating!

It's easy to feel like a square peg in a round hole. Work with students as an older adult for a while and you will recognize this feeling. But I also know that really, as believers, none of us "belongs". Not here. We long for a heavenly home, the place where we "fit". Though I've been blessed beyond blessing here on earth with all I ever could have wanted and even more - my best friend and wife Jill, our four children, shelter, income, food, and treasured friends such as these - it dawns on me that I've been looking for the place Jesus is preparing for me all my life. My very flesh groans for it. To be with Him, that is Heaven!

I'd go in a second given the opportunity. To have my brokenness fixed, once and for all, and to be able to finally worship our Lord fully and with no guile, no pretense, and nothing held back . . . wow!

To be, finally, in that place where you never have to say goodbye . . .

But I remain here, in the struggle, in the joys and pains and weariness of this mortal life on our broken earth and in this broken body. And I accept that with joy. God has been very gentle with me, really, and has made my path very easy.

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also."

- John 14:1-3 (ESV)

Below are some shots from the party. These people are precious to me - darn it, I miss them!



left to right: Jeremy, Randy, Joey, Brad, Kevo, with Mego and Kelso hugging


Yeah!


A bad smell (but not really - and no, Brad, it wasn't Kelsey) . . .


Sad . . . Mego is distraught and Kevin has decided to drown his sorrows in IBC.

I miss them.

I was a volunteer in our church's student ministry for 10+ years. I finished my time there a week and a half ago. I began to write a long post full of my observations of Student ministry over the last decade. But, as is disconcertingly typical with me, the words just weren't flowing. But I can summarize:

Students are wonderful. Sometimes people who don't know them can think that they aren't spiritual, or that they are scary, or that they are sinful and lost. Well, of course, many students, like many people, fit those descriptions. But my hope for the future is always boosted when in the presence of a student who loves God (and there are many). And I'm not just talking about high school students. You know those seventh graders you avoid? A lot of them are awesome - get to know them.

Students understand community in ways we don't. They are bonded to each other. They understand that they can't be alone, even though many of them, through no fault of their own, are. The wisest ones understand that they won't make it as a Christian without others. Why do we lose the ability to have community when we get older? I know, I know, we're more busy. We have families.

But why don't I know my neighbors better?

Selah

Many students don't have families to speak of. It positively, absolutely kills me. Their parents are either gone or distant. And so they have to make it through their young lives essentially alone, and they fight battles that they should never have to fight, and carry baggage that should never have been placed on them. They shouldn't have to wonder which dad will walk them down the aisle at their wedding, and they shouldn't have to wish that the answer could be "neither". They shouldn't have to live vagabond lives, sleeping at relatives and friend's houses because their parents don't appear to care where they sleep and don't appear to give them much acceptance. They shouldn't have to inherit all the pathologies and personality-scars that their parents pass down to them, with the attendant probabilities of repeating the cycle. And I shouldn't have to wonder why their parents never come to see them at church. Leading worship is not about performance, but to have a parent be, seemingly, completely uninterested in the fact that their child sings as a lead-worshipper for over a hundred students each week makes me sad.

When students are together, it's amazing. I was allowed into their culture from time to time (a great act of grace on their part, I might add) and it's a wonderful place. They love each other. They strive for God. They want to live epic lives, and believe God can take them there. They are afraid for their future. And they still know how to live in the now.

I said I miss them. Which is ironic, because I haven't moved away and most of them haven't either. But I am called to serve in the main church body and, like many churches, the students are somewhat removed from that. I don't understand why, but I don't think this is a healthy thing. There are people who I love dearly who I will never, ever see, even though they "go to my church", unless I walk the 150 yards over to the student building. We are two churches. I'd love to find ways to make us one again without diminishing either side.

I could write a lot more. About how amazing it is to go to, for instance, the wedding of a student you were close to, and see that person grown up now, and still loving God. I have two more weddings of past band members to go to this fall. That's awesome! It's amazing to see them start their own families. It's a bit twilight-zonish to see them become adults.

Some of the ones I've known have gone into ministry, or onto the mission field. And that's been so great to see. I've always told the worship band members that the most important thing is that they continue walking with God after the band's done. And, for the most part, they have.

Students need loving adults to shepherd them. Maybe you? There's nothing like it.

I miss them. And I'm so thankful.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:3-6 (ESV)

Today was the last day that the student band I work with led worship. It was also my last day as a lay student minister. And it was a great day! I'm so thankful that God allowed me to do this ministry for so long, and I'm excited about the next steps He will take me on.

Below are some pictures from today (taken by my good friend Ashley).

I love you, 249 North Band! Thanks for a great year (and I'm going to really miss you).

The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad.

- from Psalm 126 (ESV)

I just got back from Junior High camp. It was simply an amazing week and it surpassed by far all my expectations. God showed up every single night and there were many saved, many lives changed. In addition, there was a sweet spirit over that camp, and many kids who have never felt accepted for who they are got to live four full days in a place where no one judged them for how they look, how good they are in sports, or what they have. That is a taste of heaven.

The student worship band I work with led worship all week, and they simply blew me away. Lord, why do I get to do this? It's just grace - I don't deserve it at all.

I can't write cogently at the moment, but would like to recount some favorite moments of camp, randomly:

The student worship band that I work with. They worshipped freely, and played and sang their hearts out. It will be very hard to say goodbye to these five precious ones in August. God orchestrated our sets in a way that I find amazing - the right song at the right time and that without any communication on the sets to speak of with our camp speaker. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

The messages and seeing God moving in the hearts of these kids. Everyone who heard that I was going to a Junior High camp extended their condolences. They just don't understand: Junior highers rock! They can grasp what God is telling them, they can respond, and they did, in wonderful ways, this week. Chris Mayfield, our speaker, is gifted in ways that still amaze me even after seven years of working with him.

My two beautiful daughters, Molly and Bethany, who came to camp. They both had a great time!

My small group - wow! There were many hurts in this small group - these kids are hurting because of homes that are broken, parents that are broken, and the effects of sin. We live in a broken world. But they pulled together and began becoming the Body to eachother, reaching out to each other with healing words and touches.

Rec! My small group also got clobbered in all three games the first day, but they never, ever gave up and had a great second day, going 2-0-1. I was so excited I was dancing on the rec fields.

Did I mention that I can't dance? But I did anyway, a lot, this week. There was a lot of dancing at camp this week - not "couples" dancing, just dancing for joy. At rec, before the services, during the meals (we had a karaoke machine). I wish that when I was a timid seventh grader I could have been in a place where I was not intimidated to experience the joy of dancing.

My daughter Bethany on the karaoke mic during lunch singing an a-capella version of the theme to the musical Hair.

Our final worship service for the Victory Camp staff at 11:00pm on the last night. It has become a tradition to offer them a simple worship service at the end of the week; they all work so hard to serve our kids and they are often very tired by this time of the year. This service was some of the best worship I've ever heard. Ahhhh... this band! God, thank You, thank You, thank You for these five. Kevin, Megan, Joey, Kelsey, Brad - you bless me so much. I love each one of you, and I'm going to miss you like crazy next year. And Randy, thanks for running the powerpoint so I could just worship in the crowd.

Doing the dangling duo with Joey. It's a ropes-course exercise where two climbers have to help eachother up to the top of a series of suspended beams. It was perhaps the hardest thing I've had to do physically for decades. We made it. Joey (who I outweigh by a good 50, 60 pounds) had to lift me up to each new level. Amazing. It occurred to me that the Christian life is much like this. We are saved and the Lord has us in His hands just as the camp staffers had ahold of our tension ropes. We are completely safe, but life is still often very hard, and without brothers to help pull us up when we're slipping we are in deep trouble.

Nurse Jill!

Talking and praying with Randy and the band.

Waffle House at 1:00am on the last night!

"Gotta get one jump ahead of the breadline"

Did I mention Nurse Jill? My beautiful bride, who served all week. So glad you could come babe.

Our YMCA-style "victory tunnel" that we formed with our upraised arms and that all the kids who got saved that week got to run through (twice) on the third night. That was awesome!

My walks with God. I took many of them this week, just walking around Victory Camp talking with the Lord. These were not always easy; I am learning uncomfortable things about the way my mind works, about how desperately I need to be renewed in my mind. I fought battles this week that no one saw. And I believe there was a lot of spiritual warfare going on this week. Many of our leaders were praying hard in their own times with God. I believe that the sweet spirit that was in this camp was from the Lord as He spread His protective wings over this camp. Blessed be His name, forever!

Pizza on the grounds of the ropes course late, late at night, just hearing the stories and victories from the (amazing, incredible, Godly) young leaders we had with us. Everyone said the same: God had answered their prayers and then some, and we were all ashamed that we were surprised at this!

It's 7:00am in the morning of the second day. I'm in my pajamas, standing on the stage, holding my toiletries bag. I have the notion of praying over the worship. I have just come from the, um, nurse's quarters, which is a little room off the worship center. The cabin I am theoretically assigned to (full of junior high boys and some very hardy and competent highschool and college counselors) is across the camp. Randy walks in and asks "What are you doing here?"

Have I mentioned Nurse Jill yet? :-)

Getting to pray with a young man named Ryan who made Jesus his Lord on the first night. There were 20+ kids who entered into this relationship this week, and from reading decision cards I observed a great deal of maturity and spiritual understanding. These did not seem to be emotional decisions.

For those of you whose eyeglasses are fogging up from the comment before last, don't worry - we kept it platonic :-)

Working hard, staying energetic, sweating, lifting sound equipment, running, playing and keeping up with the teenagers. I'm always amazed at how much stamina I am granted at camp.

The food. It's always good at Victory Camp.

Getting to counsel a young man named Elliot who was feeling distant from God. THEN bumping into him an hour later to discover that he had just had the privilege of praying with one of his friends as that friend accepted Christ that night.

Did I mention my small group? Matt, Emily, Chelsea, the other Chelsea, Melanie, Garrett, Desiree, Brendan, Riley, and Amy. You guys played hard, served eachother, stayed on topic, listened, talked, and just really blessed me.

"Go flat!"

Talking with Dodge, Joey, and Brad late last night.

The seven young leaders, highschoolers and college students, who surrendered to full time ministry last night.

Kelsey in a fairy costume, singing "Born to be Wild" on the karaoke. You just haven't lived until you've seen that.

Knees to the Earth

Holy Roar

Be My Escape

Rain Down

Into Your Presence

Psalm 126

Here With Me

Megan, who sang her heart out, and has stepped out beyond her fear, and who probably doesn't know how much that blesses me.

Kevin, who stepped up in leadership and sang till he was hoarse and played expertly. And who kept us laughing till our sides hurt.

Brad, who played until his fingers were aching, and led, and harmonized, and added so much to this band. He probably doesn't realize how much.

Joey, who played until his arms were about to fall off, and who hoisted me to the top of the aforementioned dangling duo, and who worshipped like crazy.

Kelsey, who shined brightly as always, and encouraged and rejoiced and proved to me even more why she is the glue that holds this band together.

Chris, who's swan-song as a camp speaker could not have been better. Love you, bro!

Randy and Jeremy, who led and organized and served in the background, always with their amazing good humor, sharp wit, and devotion to ministry.

And all the amazing highschool and college students and interns and student office workers who came and poured their lives out for these kids. They are, quite simply, just amazing. I'm always blown away by these people.

And, of course, Jesus Christ, the King of kings, who rained down His love and grace on this camp and who deserves all the glory and praise. Without Him this week, I wouldn't be writing this post. All my favorite moments listed above would not have been favorites unless He had been there. I can't adequately thank Him for all that He has done. I just don't know how - words don't suffice. All I can do is just thank Him for His amazing grace.

He has done great things!

Some Pictures:

Below is a picture of the worship band at the service for the victory camp staffers. This was near midnight last night, after a week of (maybe) 5 hours of sleep a night. They were exhausted but they just laid it all out on the line. Oh wow . . .



And here I am with the 249N band, left to right: me, Joey, Mego. Bottom: Kevo, Kelso, Brad.

For the past seven years I've been involved in our student ministry as one of the "worship band guys". Basically, every year I get the amazing privilege of helping to equip high school students to lead worship.

In December I began to feel strongly that this should be my last year of doing this particular ministry. God is calling me to something else, although I'm not sure what. But I also feel called to finish out the year with the current band I am working with - so I'm still doing this thing through August.

I must say, I have been enjoying this year immensely! Every band has been special, but I'm not sure if I could pick a group I'd rather finish strong with than this one. The pictures of these fabulous five are below - I took these at our recent flag football HSABSFFBCS "bowl games" - so it was a bit of a looser and crazier time than our usual Sunday morning worship services (hence the team t-shirts, face-paint, etc), but it still was worship! I also threw in a few pics of a recent band party.

These kiddos are precious to me - they are all very talented, but - most importantly to me - they all are growing in their relationship to God and all have great hearts. These pics represent the fun, but behind these are untold hours of hard work in getting ready to bring a fitting gift of worship to our Lord. I love these students, and I'm blessed to get to work with them and play with them. What a privilege.

Some pics (my apologies to those of you with dial-up and lower resolutions - let me know if this messes up the page too much for you and I'll adjust ;-):

Update: I have made these a single, rather than a double, column of pics. Will be a longer post but now the site won't spill off the right side of the browser for those with lower resolutions.

Joey, amazing drummer, rocking out

Kelso (you're an angel, K :-)

Gabe - always having a great time

Mego, belting it out (this girl can sing!)

Kevo - an amazing guitarist

Megan and Kelsey singing "Hey" on "Undignified

Big Gabe, "taking the bassline for a walk" - heh

Hallelujah!

Kelso, Mego and Joey (Megan held that look on her face for a good thirty seconds while I fiddled with my camera - heh)

BALDERDASH!

Love you guys! (oh - the guy with the beard is Brad Brogden, who also works with the band - and he's an amazing musician in his own right)